I Wasn't Always Like This
by Frosteec
Summary: Petunia Evans had a very different life from the time she was eleven to seventeen, she was as any other magical muggleborn witch growing up during Grindlewalds time was. Except she fell hard for the Dark Lord of our time.


I Wasn't Always Like This

I Wasn't Always Like This

Prologue-Chapter 1

A 17 year old, Harry Potter watched out through the common room window and opened the window just in time for a black owl to come flying in. He thought it would be from Fred and George as a business update but when he looked at the envelope he realized that it wasn't their handwriting. He opened it slowly and realized that it was his aunts. _Why would I be getting a letter from her_, he thought and hurriedly opened it.

_Dear Harry_, it read, _I have come to the_ _conclusion that it is time I tell you and the whole world about my youth and how I was never once jealous of your mother. Lily, Lily got everything very easily, because I taught her everything I knew. At least I tried. If it weren't for me your mother would still be here today. But it was my choice at least that's what every one told me. It was my choice to leave that world, my world, but if I had known that so much hurt would have come from that tiny decision about marrying a muggle. I would have never done it. So Harry I hope you will forgive me for all of those years. It must have been torture for you, because I know it was torture for me. But Harry I must admit to you I have been very selfish. No that is an understatement. But they kept telling me that you were safe where the blood dwells. So I had got that in my head that, that meant the Dark Lord couldn't get into our house, that we were all safe even Dudley. Maybe after you read this you will understand why I was so scared when Remus came in the house and said Voldemort had been there. Harry please for my sake, please do not discuss this with your new defense against the dark arts teacher. But she plays a very big role for she is my best friend. But I think she might never talk to me again after what happened, after what I did._

_Harry maybe after you __live__, I mean read my journal you will understand. Professor Dumbledore has informed me that you have been in Tom Riddles Diary and I am regretful to what I am going to say but my diary is very much like his. Maybe now you will understand why I took you in and absolutely none of it was guilt. _

_I wasn't always like this, Harry. I once was in love. Now that you are soon going to graduate from Hogwarts I have decided it is time for you to know the truth about me and how I grew up and why I chose to live the life I do. Please forgive me, Harry. I never meant for it to turn out this way__.__ Please Harry you must believe me I wasn't always like this._

_Yours magically,_

_Petunia __Dursley __Evans_

Harry's eyes went wide and he looked around the empty common room and opened up a midnight blue journal and took out a quill and pot of ink and wrote in it _Hello Petunia_. It took a minute but soon it said;

_**Hello Harry. **_And then there was a flash of blue light and he was gone.

Chapter 1

Now Harry appeared to be on the lawn of a house in Privet Drive and as he looked at the sign he saw that it was Private Drive. He heard yelling coming from the house and saw a lady with short black hair trying to coax a screaming baby of about two while yelling at the other girl there was another girl about four foot nine. All three in the room were yelling and you couldn't make out a word they were saying. There was a sudden wave of silence and a small sob from the older girl.

"You don't understand, I want this more than anything in the whole world and now you are telling me I can't have it when dad says it's a great opportunity? Why? I don't want to stay here I have always known there was another world out there and from what I remember in all those stories you told me, you believe in it to. You know the letter isn't fake. Why won't you let me go? What are you so afraid of?" the girls voice was quavering as she spoke and when she reached the last syllable of her speech she turned and ran up the stairs.

"Petunia, Petunia honey come back so we can discuss this," the woman that was probably her mother yelled up the stairs. There was a muffled reply that sounded like 'I don't want to discuss this with you'.

"Oh, Lily you will be a good girl won't you. Should we let your sister go to that school? I think she is much to young but maybe we should give it a try," she asked the baby girl named Lily that was now sleeping.

Harry walked up the stairs to find Petunia in a room that was painted light blue and had a bunch of stuffed animals all around the edges of the room. And at one end of the room there was a queen sized dark blue canopy bed, and a dark blue beanbag chair in another corner, and an egg chair with dark blue interior. Her long blackish-brown hair was draped around her face and her big brown eyes were filled with tears and every so often a sob would escape from her pink lips. She was sitting on her bed and was busily writing on the damp pages of the journal that Harry had just traveled through. Harry walked over to her to look at what she was writing;

_Dear Journal,_

_ I can't believe mom won't let me go to Hogwarts. She says it is just a practical joke. But I know she remembers all those weird doings I made done (does that sound right?) this is the answer to it all. It puts all the pieces of the puzzle together. She has always been the one that believed in all the different worlds and now she won't le me go to where I __**need **__to be. If she would just give me a chance I know that I could do great things. But one thing I know is that I will not become like my mother! I will __**not**__ be forced into marriage, I will __**not**__ be forced into having children until you get a boy, and I am __**not**__ going to be a house wife that does nothing all day except spy on the neighbors! __**I wont, I won't, I won't.**__ And journal I promise you that. You can hold me to my word on that! _

_Magically yours,_

_**Petunia Evans**_

Petunia decided that she should go apologize to her mom but as she came to the top of the stairs she heard loud talking. After a few minutes she realized that it was her two parents arguing;

"Rose, we have to let her go, she belongs in that world," her dad was saying.

"But I am not ready for that, I can't give her up, not yet she is still to young to be out there on her own," her mom said in a small voice.

"I really understand Rose but we have to let her go, just think about the war, she'll be safe there," her dad said taking a stand. After a few more minutes of arguing Rose finally said ok. And with that Petunia was off running down the stairs and into her mothers arms saying thank-you over and over again.

"So if we let you go you promise to work really hard in your studies?" her father asked teasingly.

"Yes, I promise, I promise ever so much!" Petunia said full of excitement. But now Petunia knew about the war. Her parents had been very careful to make sure she knew nothing about the war and now there would be one and from the way that her dad had talked about it to her mother in there room at night it would be a bad one. She had heard him say the Americans were getting ready even though no one would declare war for a while.

I rewrote little bits of it to make it flow better; it's crazy what happens when you look back on your writing.


End file.
